Daughters

In honor of the Women’s March on Washington, yesterday, I didn’t march.  I stood in solidarity with women all over the world who live in snowy climates.  We raised our shovels instead of our signs and proved our strength by digging ourselves and our families out of our houses!  

 In all seriousness, though, after shoveling, I stayed home and watched ridiculous YouTube music videos by Caspar Babypants with my daughters.  Even putting this in writing makes me cringe.  I have never been one to give in to all the asinine things we pour into our children just so we can ‘get something done’.  However, in this current season, I am flexing a bit (within reason) to get a minute to sit down and work.

And for some reason, while sitting there watching this I realized I am the mother of 2 daughters!  How did this happen?  I’ve always dreaded having daughters.  Never feeling stable and complete and whole enough in my own womanhood to raise healthy, amazing daughters.  But here I am, on the couch between two incredible souls who are now girls and are ever so quickly growing into women.  The time has come and I’m still feeling the sting of that slap in the face.  And it’s a weird time for me.  I feel as if I live in two worlds-one world on the cusp of being a full fledged teenager and the other just moving into the wonderful world of toddlerhood.  Rarely, do I find myself in a position of stability or consistency or solid, confident parenting.  

[Enter Caspar Babypants]

This video in a whimsical, sickeningly stupidway, sums up an important part of who I want my daughters to be.  Yes, incomplete, but leaning into something beautiful.  Strength, wit, drive, humor, beauty, courage, competence, compassion, love, acceptance.  And laughter.  Please, laughter.